Stepping into the terrace hall of the das Haus der Kunst I finally realised why I had felt so uneasy walking towards it – my subconscious had guessed the memories I will be forced to relive. My first meeting with Jan Lauwers and The Needcompany was three years ago at Baltoscandal festival. It was the first performance both for the festival and for me after a forced brake. As always, I sat in the first row with my friends but as the “Images of Affection” went on and I could not bare to watch it without fingers in my ears and sunglasses concealing my eyes, I finally had to admit to myself that something had changed for ever in the way I can watch theatre.
Entering the room of “Deconstruction 07” now, it was like meeting old friends from a period of life you´d like to forget but know that you never will and therefore are glad to see them. Yes, these are the same rabbit-hats and that is the same Bali dancer I saw three years ago blowing herself up with a bomb attached to her waist and then going on with her everyday life. I called it an political, epic theatre three years ago, where the story is prevailed by the idea and thus the narrative is taken to a minimum since “concrete reasons are not important when the outcome is repeating over and over again”. But there´s no bombs cramping the Bali woman´s flirtatious dancing now as there seems to be missing a political statement. It is still “Images of Affection” and perhaps something more from the previous years but in a true Derrida way the meaning has changed with context. When they all start singing softly “Don´t leave”, I lean to the wall and watch boldly straight to the bright light, letting the lamps warm me. I feel at home here or rather I´d like to but there´s again that division between their world and ours I so often find myself hating. I peak through a hole here, go as close as possible to another wall and yet there´s no invitation. Maybe I should just go and sit next to the mirror facing older lady, helping her with her sheets of paper? I am not that bold yet. But would like to be since the installation seems to evoke artistic reactions. So I just lean to the wall, trying to touch it with as small part of my body as possible, thinking that maybe someone in this room will juts for a second question if I am a part of this installation. Because I am. Because I have seen it before and know what is being deconstructed.
How would I feel about the installation without my previous experience? How the hell should I know? But I am sure that you will have an strong emotional opinion if you take the time and the courage to let the world created by Needcompany get to you. Even if the feeling is astonished “Wtf?”
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